someone, seoul

i break agreements, the short hand passing.
it is only monday
the contrasting faces of this place, sought across my ocean, uprooting from under skin.

i take the train home, red faced and slouching,
across feet, a girl sleeps like her body could not straighten for a bed, she is a girl,
worn white shoes, a bag of rainbow flowers.
this city is spilled with the after of hours and there is no shame
it is the spending that is judged with two open eyes,
long strands smoothed, bangs straight just so. white cream shimmer just so.

i scold myself human, hours stacking mistakes.

now this is the you i know he says, nice.
he has named the other dragonlady, boasting her sexual ease
when i am a topple down stranger in the street
he stares mean, he slices the word different, like i am a stranger, he has yet to meet.

honest, i call her the brave self
day quiet nodding, and the neck is stiff, i call her the spittlestained mouth of won't.

as if i could whisper in the upturned ear of mercy, of power
i climb a
tower of light, each morning
grasping with two hands at infinite wisdom and the square shaped light behind closed eyelids.
i mouth the word universe.
slow sighing standing in a crowd
feet set apart just so,

and i say sorry
without weighing what i mean.
this
is how i am.